Beat Tired at the End of the Day

It's been a long day today, but fruitful. At least I made steps toward confronting my fears about the school district. I'm finally at the point where I just don't care anymore what they think. I have done my part and they can leave me alone. I wrote 1500 more words on my novel which I'm feeling good about. There is a cross link on this blog to get to the other one, if you are interested in my current novel I'm working on. It's coming together nicely. In the meantime I also need to work up a few short stories. I have been reading and researching the way to get published. So, it looks like the best way to get the novel published is to have a few published articles in magazines first. Looks good on the resume, so to speak. And it doesn't have to be one of the top 20 magazines, there are a LOT of magazines looking to fill their pages with good content. Don't pay well, but it's more the fact that I'm published. That's what agents look for when your looking around for a good agent to pitch your book to the publisher.

So, that said, I'm almost glad summer is here. I will have more time to write, which is what I want to do. It's life that keeps me away from the computer to write. And read more. I've been reading and reading different detective novels.

I'm cutting this blog short tonight, as I am tired from the day. Hope every one's day is going well.

Rules, Regulations, and Stupidty

I don't want to name names, as my children are still receiving treatment from the place they go to for speech therapy. I'm sure you all know that you have to sign off on privacy practices before a doctor will even look at you. How many of you actually READ the policy sheet before signing it? I took time this morning as it was that time that we had to update everything and refill paperwork out. I will include a picture of the police below, so you can see what I'm talking about.
Apparently, almost anyone can walk in off the street and ask for my children's medical records. They insist over and over again that this wouldn't happen, however this is what it says. I'm especially upset about the part about family, clergymen, ect. On their behalf it does say, unless I object.So, what are they going to do? Call me while the person is standing there and asked if they have permission? They gave me a paper to write down everyone I object to. Hummm, can you name off the top of your head everyone you wouldn't to have access to your child's record? I can't, that would be a long list So, I asked if could make a list that could have names of people I want to have the records. Other than myself, the children's biological father and my husband no one should have access to the records. That's it. Beyond that it's no ones business other than our own. But, how do I know this will be followed? No guarantees here as the paper still states, and I had to initial it (might I also add, even if I had signed the paper it wouldn't made  a difference one way or the other) , that a whole lot of people can have access.  And what makes me angry as well, this place, along with the whole rest of the world, is trying to put our kids into what they think is the appropriate grade. I can put and teach my children anything I want whenever I want. They do not have to be in a certain grade at a certain age (Lawyer-Gregory Escobar-(540) 476-3883-call and check if you don't believe me) I DO have to get 180 school days in, but frankly we''re teaching them every day, from correcting grammar and speech issues, have them look words up if they want to write something on the computer, to talking about world events as they happen and just discuss things as we are out and about. There is  a lot of history here in New England.

Alas, I ran off into another subject. Actually the two are kind go hand in hand. If these therapists thought my children aren't progressing, they theoretically could call child protection services. I'm not sure if they would or wouldn''t. I get nervous every time I have to deal with authority officials. As we were just approved (living arrangement wise) from children protective service and our apartment management, I suppose I could through yet another visit. Again, and I can't say this enough, people need to mind their own business. Now, I know that since my children are being seen by a speech therapist (doctor basically) they are required by law to report anything they deem as neglect or abuse. SIGH It's all one persons opinion. And child protection service have to follow up on every complaint.

So, here I am waiting for four of my children to finish their therapies, and thinking about this whole thing. Do I want them to get services for their speech. YES What parent wouldn't want their kids to get help if they needed it and I agree that they need help with speech. I just don't need to be judged. However, I don't wish to be talked down to or for someone to imply that I'm neglecting my children in any way, shape. or form. I have expressed my concerns, they have reassured me that is not the way they intended to come across. I sincerely hope they are right. Or have I jabbed a bees next with a stick? Will they, now that I voiced my opinion, decide to call children protective serifs because I'm being defense with my children...and, oh defensive people must be hiding something. If you didn't get the sarcasm there, it was meant that way. Most defensive people are just trying to stand up for their rights and do what is best and don't need others sticking their nose into their business. And then we label that defense. And so the circle goes around and around.
That said, I"m going to wait out the rest of the visit here and go home and teach my children which is my job. Not a job cause I do it cause I have to, it's a job because my kids are my life and deserve the very best.

Breastfeeding Pro or Con?

I love Gilmore Girls and probably have watched the series through at least 3-4 times. The other day, on the show, there were a bunch of mothers, fathers and babies. One mother started to breastfeed her child. The regular characters on the show all showed distaste for this. She wasn't showing anything. And babies have to eat too, on their schedule, not someone else's and wherever they are at the time.

I have seven children. For various reasons I didn't breasfeed my first five. I tried with the the 5th but just couldn't figure it out. No, woman and babies are not made to automatically figure out how to breastfeed .It's something that is learned and for a newcomer to the craft, it can be very frustrating, unless you have a very cooperative baby. My 5th spent a week in the NICU so I was pumping breast milk at night so they could feed her the next night with it. Then I would hang out (much to the distress of the staff) and breastfeed her during the day. She wasn't terribly sick but she was a little weak. I think that had something to do with the fact she just wasn't getting it. Babies have to work and suck harder to get their meal than their bottle fed counterparts. Once a baby has been given a bottle, getting them to breastfeed now becomes 10 time more difficult. They now know it's easier. I finally gave up with this child, just to finally have her home and bonding with her was enough. She was a bottle fed baby.

Child number six was different. We are still really close (i love them all, but I have a different relationship with each child). Child number six is my mini-me. She looks like me, she acts like me. She is the one, when I'm upset, won't leave my side until I feel better. She was the one (I slept with my children in my bed until they were about two, more or less) who would wake up in the morning, sit there and wait for me to wake up. I would wake up and she'd be there smiling at me. I called her my sunshine, she still is my sunshine. So, I was still determined to breastfeed a child and was ready for another fight. No matter how hard it was I was determined to make it work. This is the child who immediately after she was born, latched on and fed for 45 min. No fight, no coaching, nothing. She breastfed easily from day one. I was so happy. I had finally passed into the growing numbers of woman who are turning back to breastfeeding.

Then came child number seven. I had this thing down pat. I could handle any baby I thought, cause now I know it works. With number 6, I was beginning to think that it was all a myth. This child was the child that wouldn't cooperate with anything. Actually, he still doesn't. But, that's a whole other story. I spent 2 weeks naked from the top up (husband and old children ran the house, I didn't leave the bedroom except for the bathroom). The nurses were saying he needed to eat every 2 hours. Made sense at the time. I couldn't get him to latch on without 45 min or more trying. He finally did. They told me to feed for 20 min on each side (didn't accomplish that for quite awhile either). If you figure the time out there is no time for him to sleep in between. So, we took the schedule and tweaked it a little. Also, I found out that this child is really cranky when he doesn't sleep. Again, even same to this day, no sleep equals cranky child. He is 6 now. I started to use a dropper with formula to satiate  him to enough to calm down and take the breastmilk. He would be so upset that latching onto the breast was impossible.Combine hunger and tired...you get the picture.  Remember, never give a baby a bottle especially one who is being difficult. I used the dropper instead. Finally he got the idea and we fell into a routine. I thought that was never going to happen. We went on with a successful breastfeeding arrangement till he was almost 2.

 To all the Moms,Moms to be, and Moms who are struggling with breastfeeding problems, I hope this helps give you some encourage you. And for those of you who are anti-breastfeeding, I respect your opinion, it's just not mine.

Tribute to Mother's Day

Congrats and Happy Mothers day to all the mothers out there and the single Dad's. Let's face it, single Dad's share the same workload and emotional input as a Mother does. And I say Congrats because I've been a mother for 21 years now and have gone through so much and learned so much. I have relaxed much over the years. People around me don't get it. They feel I'm too lax with the children. On the contrary, I have learned to pick my fights over the years. Seriously, some things are just not worth fighting over. Potty training for one. OMG, if your child wasn't potty trained by a certain age the mother was doing  something wrong. I assured everyone that my child would indeed not being going to college in a diaper. I have learned that mile stones happen when they do, not on someones schedule. I have remedial readers here. We are working hard on that, but they will come into their own when they are ready. I've done this 3 times before, I can teach to read. But, this time around, I have the confidence that I didn't have the first few times. I remember sitting there with 7 & 8 yr old that can't read and panicking. No more, I know they will learn and that they will become avid readers. Both my husband and I are voracious readers. There are books everywhere in the house. One of the few things I do not consider clutter. You can never have enough books. 

So, this being a Mother thing takes a lot of work, sweat, determination and a thick skin. Once your a Mom everyone (including strangers) think they have the right to tell you how to raise your child (children). Even before the baby is born, people give you unsolicited advice. It's nuts. And some of this advice is coming from people who have never had a child. What?? I don't think there is another area where anyone would begin to offer advice unless they actually knew something about the subject matter. I am a mom to seven. I have always warned my kids to be on best behavior when we go out cause people WILL be looking at us. The two oldest are now on their own, but we still have the five with us. I always laugh when we go into a store and you can see people counting the number of kids. Then we get the natural.."are they all yours?" No, we just rented them for the day "are you having more" what business is it of a total stranger as to what goes on behind a closed bedroom door. And when the kids were young and I was still having babies, people would say things like "do you know what causes that?" Now there are two responses to this..first, "Yes, but I stopped washing our underwear together and it didn't stop" or, and I especially like the look on people's faces with this one. MUST be said with a straight face "No, can you explain it to me." People usually shut up at that point. So, this is where the thick skin comes in. I have been judged my school district, my local children and youth, our apartment complex management and anyone else that feels they have a say in what happens in my family. I am proud to say that everyone found nothing wrong with us or the way we chose to live. 

One more word on the subject of being a mother. Have you every noticed if the house isn't clean it's the Mom's fault? Even if was clean when she left to do an errand and comes home to a mess, it's still her fault. Even if Dad was there supervising. Not his fault it's hers. If something isn't handed in on time it's the Mother's fault. I can't possible be the Dad's fault. LOL Now think on this one, have you ever noticed if you at the cash register with your husband/boyfriend, whatever that he can pay but the cashier 99% of the time hands the change back to the Mom. I find all of this funny but annoying at times. I have 11 years to go before I have no minor children in the house. That's over a decade yet. Of course it will get easier and my last one will be an 'only child' for the last 3 years, so I have a break to look forward too. Suggestion, if your husband/boyfriend whatever will go for it. Take one day a month and do NOTHING but pamper yourself and be selfish for that one day. It's been helping me. I love my days.